The Unicorns and Hekate arrived around the same time in my life. I realise that now. It happened in that year that could have killed me (I nearly ended my own life) but instead it made me.
On New Year’s Eve 2010, I found out that my baby girl that we had planned on naming Willow had died in utero. About a week before that, my much longed for baby girl had been diagnosed with Trisomy 18 (a severe genetic disorder) and not given much of a chance of survival. I met the news with equal measures of relief and despair. There was no difficult decision for me to make – Nature made it for me.
A few days later, on the birthday of my youngest daughter, I was admitted for a chemically induced abortion. The procedure didn’t go very well and I had to be rushed to surgery. I came out of the surgery alright and high as a kite on the drugs they gave me for the pain. I was convinced all was well, I was loved and my partner and I would grow stronger together because of this experience which we had been forced to endure together.
Sadly, he had other plans. Less than two weeks later we had split up and I was left to pick up the pieces on my own. I lost it. I hit depression like lava hits the ocean. My mind evaporated. I walked around in a daze. I still don’t want to talk about that night when I nearly took my own life but I will do it anyway. The reason I don’t want to talk about it is because I still feel shame at almost having inflicted that much pain on my children.The reason I choose to talk about it anyway is to show the Ghost of the Past that it no longer has any power over me – I have come to terms with what happened and I forgive myself.
What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger
A few months down the line, while I was still recovering, I had to start looking for work to support myself and my daughter. I realised then that not only was there only one thing I wanted to do, there was only one thing I could do: go self-employed as a Tarot reader. Taking the leap of going self-employed doing something as weird and controversial as Tarot readings was still tough. I had tried quite hard to fit in.
Going self-employed was not a strange idea to me. My father had been self-employed and my sister was also self-employed. When I had been self-employed in the past, I had worked as a medical translator. In a sense, I am still a translator but instead of translating English medical documents into Swedish, I translate symbols into English (and sometimes Swedish).
The thing I was concerned about was how people would perceive me (a weirdo? someone to not take seriously?) but after surviving the loss of both Willow and my partner, I felt strong enough to tackle that. There were still some aspects of taking on this work that I wasn’t prepared for and that was how filled with fear and misinformed many people are when it comes the Tarot. I talk about the most common misconceptions I encounter as a Tarot reader in THIS article.
I honestly can’t remember if Nephthys appeared before or after the first encounter with my unicorn guide but it was around the same sort of time, back in 2011 and not long before I started working professionally as a Tarot reader. I was sitting in my bad, meditating when I heard a ringing laughter next to me. Since the voice was so clear, I didn’t hesitate to ask ‘Who is here?’ – Just as clearly as I heard the laughter, I heard this spirit say something that sounded like ‘Neftis.’ She told me she was a midwife and also that she was known as ‘The Joy-Filled One.’
When I googled ‘Neftis’ (Swedish spelling of Nephthys) I soon realised who she was; She was the sister of Isis and the Goddess who had taken Willow under her wing. I had never heard of her before so when everything checked about her, I was grateful to have my experience verified. Not long ago, a week or so after receiving Hekate’s calling, I realised that Nephthys and Hekate are one and the same (I have no need to argue this with rigid traditionalists).
Nephthys remained in the shadows over the next seven years. Though I didn’t talk much to her or enter into any formal arrangement, I never doubted her presence and it was always a comfort to me.
My calling from Hekate happened seven years after I first connected with Her as Nephthys and seven years after my unicorn guide first appeared. It also happened when I was in a much better place emotionally and happily married to a wonderful man.
Over the past year, I had started working more with the unicorn energy and allowed them to guide and inspire me. First it clicked that there was a connection with unicorns and the Divine Feminine. Not many weeks later, I realised that they had guided me safely into Hekate’s arms so that we could begin working together in earnest.
I decided to dedicate myself to Hekate on the most recent Dark Moon. For my New Moon self-dedication ritual, I used a blessing I had found in another book. I also decided to add words of devotion from the heart and as I spoke, I heard myself say ‘I am yours for seven years.’ The words kind of took me by surprise because I’m not sure where they had come for or what they meant.
A big help with understanding the meaning of the words came in the form of a miraculous little book called ‘Hekate: A Devotional‘ by Vivienne Moss. I found this book published by Moonboks (Pagan Portals series) thanks to a video review by Arwen on YouTube.
Listening to Arwen’s review of the book the next morning (because it ‘randomly’ showed up in my social media feed), I watched her open the book to a ‘random’ page and start reading a poem by Vivienne Moss that contained the words, ‘For seven years you belong to her…’ Honestly, you could have knocked me over with a feather at that point.
Luckily, unbeknownst to me, Vivienne is part of the same witchy FB where I shared about this experience. She kindly explained that “The seven years is from old Faerie lore and the Queen of Elphame. Elphame being the underworld realm of the Faerie queens and kings. When I speak of the Shadow-Lands in my book it is Elphame. In my workings with Hekate, She is one of the Queens of Elphame (the underworld, Shadow-Lands etc). In old Faerie lore many are inducted by those of the underworld for a total of seven years. It’s like an initiation of sorts.”
Synchronicity at its finest.
After that it didn’t really surprise me to find out that Vivienne too had personal experience of unicorns in relation to Hekate (see correspondences in Hekate: A Devotional).
So there you have it. To some of us, Unicorns very much belong to Her. And if you feel that doesn’t work for you, that’s fine too.
On that level of the psyche where we connect with the Goddess, we each meet what we are ready to take on board – nothing more and nothing less and no one size fits all.
Unicorn Blissings ✨🦄✨
Lisa (aka Kallista)
PS. The unicorn card on top of the book in the image above is from an oracle called Seelentrösterchen.